Panic At The Urinal

Stage fright is one thing. It happens. I find a courtesy flush gets the juices flowing. But have you ever gone to the bathroom, stepped up to the urinal, started doing your business, and then suddenly become overwhelmed with panic that you inadvertently entered the woman’s room by accident? Makes no sense right? Only men’s rooms have urinals! But it happens to me more than I like to admit. Am I alone on this one?

P.S. If you have a vagina and absolutely have to use the men’s room, just fucking ask me. I reprimanded a girl over the weekend for trying to jump into the solo men’s room at a restaurant where I was eating. Her friends took issue with me and told me what an asshole I was, but I’d do it again in a heartbeat. I can understand if it’s at a house party or at a busy club where they have to get in to puke/give blow jobs/do lines, but not at a nice restaurant. Please. Just fucking ask.

Things I Hate Right Now

- My neighbor whose awful techno crap music has kept me up the last two nights in my new apartment. Dooshbag.

- Vonage Customer Service because when I called to cancel they kept asking if I would consider this or that until I finally cursed them out and demanded to speak with their supervisor. I fucking hate them.

- When you are sick and you go to puke, but realize at the last second that your diarrhea is about to take precedence…and vice versa. Ugh.