Pussy Tattoos And Donkey Cock

“Google Falls Short Of Estimates!” Serves them right. Those fuckers raped me of my image search equity. Remember “Padma Lakshmi” and “Golden Showers”? What gives? Now my only traffic comes from Voltron, Gwap Stackin’, and completely random searches like this:

Really? I wrote those words? Together? I don’t think so (although I kind of wish I had). Regardless, this must be what Google thinks Rude Not To is all about, pussy tattoos and donkey cock. It was good while it lasted Padma. Off to clean the blood out of my underwear…

Padma Lakshmi & Golden Showers

Traffic has been shooting through the roof on Rude Not To and I just couldn’t figure it out. I rarely have time to post and I’m just not that popular. Then I found it! Through some amazing tweak of Google’s algorithm, I am now receiving some serious search equity. Do an image search for Padma Lakshmi and Rude Not To is the second result. Do an image search for Golden Shower and Rude Not To is the first result! Pretty much the awesomist thing to happen all weekend.

Thank you Google.
Thank you WordPress.
Thank you Padma.
Thank you Golden Showers…