Best Tattoo Ever…Uhh…The Other One

I spoke too soon about this one and for that I apologize. Especially when you consider the fact that this guy went out and got the very tattoo I always talked about, the one I always dreamed of. The zipper. All the way from the back of his neck down to his ass crack. Like a skin suit you could just unzip and climb out of! I absolutely love it. Who is this man, this hero of mine? How far did he go? Did he make it to his ass crack? Dare I say to the taint? Now that would be epic. Please to enjoy…

These photos were taken at Wrigley Field in Chicago. Alert me if you know this man.

Special thanks to Monkey & Deuce.

Pussy Tattoos And Donkey Cock

“Google Falls Short Of Estimates!” Serves them right. Those fuckers raped me of my image search equity. Remember “Padma Lakshmi” and “Golden Showers”? What gives? Now my only traffic comes from Voltron, Gwap Stackin’, and completely random searches like this:

Really? I wrote those words? Together? I don’t think so (although I kind of wish I had). Regardless, this must be what Google thinks Rude Not To is all about, pussy tattoos and donkey cock. It was good while it lasted Padma. Off to clean the blood out of my underwear…

Fuck You Facebook

You don’t know me…

Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me

Admit it. The song is catchy and this guy’s dance moves are sick. Love the animation.

Dirty Sanchez

For more fun and games visit the ABOUT section of Rude Not To.

There Can Only Be One

Maybe not. Congrats C’s. Suck it Kobe. And Scalabrine…you are one lucky shit.

Padma Lakshmi & Golden Showers

Traffic has been shooting through the roof on Rude Not To and I just couldn’t figure it out. I rarely have time to post and I’m just not that popular. Then I found it! Through some amazing tweak of Google’s algorithm, I am now receiving some serious search equity. Do an image search for Padma Lakshmi and Rude Not To is the second result. Do an image search for Golden Shower and Rude Not To is the first result! Pretty much the awesomist thing to happen all weekend.

Thank you Google.
Thank you WordPress.
Thank you Padma.
Thank you Golden Showers…

Virgin My Ass

This hot piece is marrying Marko Jaric??? Unreal. NBA benchwarmer. What a dooshbag.

…my new hero!

Panic At The Urinal

Stage fright is one thing. It happens. I find a courtesy flush gets the juices flowing. But have you ever gone to the bathroom, stepped up to the urinal, started doing your business, and then suddenly become overwhelmed with panic that you inadvertently entered the woman’s room by accident? Makes no sense right? Only men’s rooms have urinals! But it happens to me more than I like to admit. Am I alone on this one?

P.S. If you have a vagina and absolutely have to use the men’s room, just fucking ask me. I reprimanded a girl over the weekend for trying to jump into the solo men’s room at a restaurant where I was eating. Her friends took issue with me and told me what an asshole I was, but I’d do it again in a heartbeat. I can understand if it’s at a house party or at a busy club where they have to get in to puke/give blow jobs/do lines, but not at a nice restaurant. Please. Just fucking ask.

Hey, Who’s Finger Is That?

My bad, I let all the hottie posts slip off the first page. Hopefully this classic shot makes up for my egregious error. These ladies are all still foxes in my book, almost 20 years since this photo was taken (damn, I’m old)…time for a re-shoot?